<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Four Letter Word by gilliananderson</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27704336">Four Letter Word</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilliananderson/pseuds/gilliananderson'>gilliananderson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Fall (TV 2013), The X-Files</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual, Bisexual Dana Scully, Bisexuality, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gay, LGBTQ Character, Love, Sapphic, Scully/Stella, The X-Files Revival, queer, romantic, s/s, txf, wlw</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 04:22:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27704336</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilliananderson/pseuds/gilliananderson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stella Gibson tells Dana Scully she loves her for the first time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Stella Gibson &amp; Dana Scully, Stella Gibson/Dana Scully</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Four Letter Word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ok well this is kinda soft and also it’s 100% matti’s fault that i did this, not mine! :)</p><p>also thank you sooo much to shawna for proofreading for me!! :’)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Love.</p><p> A four letter word. One syllable. </p><p>
  <em> noun </em>
</p><p>1.</p><p>
  <em> an intense feeling of deep affection. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> verb </em>
</p><p>1.</p><p>
  <em> to feel deep affection for (someone). </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Stella Gibson could count on one hand the amount of times she’d used the words <em> I love you. </em> She’d loved her father dearly, but neither of them were prone to being overly affectionate. It was just an unspoken truth between them, and they were both content with that. </p><p> </p><p>She’d never had anyone else she cared enough about to be able to say that she loved them. She was alone, and she’d accepted it. She didn’t bother making connections with people, she preferred to know them for a night and then never think of them again. That all changed, however, when she met Dana Scully. </p><p> </p><p>She knew from the get go that their relationship would be different; that their dynamic was different. She tried to deny it at first, but it continued to become increasingly more obvious as time passed. She found herself wondering if she’d ever cared about anyone, including her father, as deeply as she now cared for this small, beautiful firecracker with brilliant red hair. </p><p> </p><p>She had yet to say it out loud, but Stella was becoming more and more aware with each passing day that she loved Dana Scully so much it was hard to breathe. She tried to express it in different ways, though she knew it always fell short. Stella never missed the tiny glint of pain in Dana’s eyes when her ‘I love you’ was left unrequited. She hid it well, but Stella could always catch it, and she could tell it hurt her so much deeper than either of them even realized. </p><p> </p><p>Dana knew deep down how Stella felt about her, and she knew it was difficult for Stella to verbally express. She never pushed it. She knew Stella’s boundaries and she’d never want to cross them in any way. She believed Stella would say it when the time was right, if it ever was. Part of her also believed she may not deserve to be loved, not after everything that had happened. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Stella had been thinking about it for weeks. She knew that she loved Dana with everything in her, and she so badly wanted to be able to tell her. She deserved to know. Even just the thought of admitting it out loud made Stella nauseous, though. Saying it made it real. Once it was real, there was no going back. Once it was real, the risk of being hurt escalated. She knew, though, that it was already very real. With or without saying the big scary word, it would crush her to lose Dana.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Stella finally decided it was time. She owed it to herself and to Dana. It was their 4 month anniversary, and she had already planned to make dinner for the two of them. She pulled her phone out from her desk and slowly began to type. Her nervous fingers punching the keys clumsily. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Dinner at my place tonight? I have something I need to tell you. S </em>” </p><p> </p><p>She stared at her message for a moment, realizing hitting send meant she would <em> have </em> to tell Dana <em> something </em> that evening, if not the L word. She sighed after a moment and hit send, feeling stupid for letting herself stress over it. </p><p> </p><p>——</p><p> </p><p>Dana sat at her desk grading papers, having to hold back a yawn every few seconds it seemed. Her phone buzzing on the desk next to her startled her out of her paper coma, and she smiled warmly when she saw the message was from Stella.</p><p> </p><p> “<em> Dinner at my place tonight? I have something I need to tell you. S </em>” </p><p> </p><p>She felt her stomach drop and an uneasy feeling wash over her as she read the text. She tried to push it away, knowing that could mean a million things, but she couldn’t stop her brain from coming up with all of the worst scenarios. She shook off her nerves after a few minutes and shakily typed out her response. </p><p> </p><p><em> “Sounds great. I’ll be there. Need me to bring anything? </em>”</p><p> </p><p>She sat with her face buried in her hands as she waited for the response. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Just you and your pretty face. See you around 7. </em>”</p><p> </p><p>Stella’s reply instantly brought a smile to Dana’s face, and she felt some of the tension she was feeling let up. She laid her phone face down and went back to grading her papers, eager to get them done in decent time so that she could leave early. It was her and Stella’s four month anniversary, and she wanted to have time to run home and freshen up before heading to Stella’s. </p><p> </p><p>A little over an hour later Dana had finally finished grading her papers, and quickly gathered her things to leave. She locked the office door behind her, trying to ignore the dull ache in her head as she fast walked through the hallway. It was still ten minutes to five and she knew she had plenty of time, but she couldn’t help the anxiety that filled her. She just wanted to be home.</p><p> </p><p>By the time 6:30 came around Dana had finished getting ready, and she was waiting impatiently until it was time for her to leave. She didn’t feel capable of sitting still, so she went around trying to get her things together to leave. She tried to move slowly, hoping she could kill time that way, but the minutes were passing like molasses. </p><p> </p><p>When 6:45 finally rolled around she sighed in relief, and made her way out of her apartment building and started to walk to Stella’s flat.</p><p> </p><p>——</p><p> </p><p>Stella had been in the kitchen from the minute she got home. She never really cooked, and she suddenly thought that this had been a terrible idea. She was making lasagna, and while she could’ve done much worse, she knew it was not turning out the way it was meant to. She didn’t have time to stress over it, though, so she just pushed forward and kept working. </p><p> </p><p>It made her laugh for a moment, when she evaluated the reality of what she was doing. Cooking and being domestic like this had never been a part of her reality, but when it came to Dana, everything was different. Stella would move mountains for that woman, and suddenly there just wasn't anything she wouldn’t do for her. She wasn’t sure of anything anymore, other than her love for Dana. </p><p> </p><p>Stella put the dish into the oven, and had just started washing dishes when she heard her buzzer. Her stomach instantly dropped and she tried to push the nerves away. </p><p> </p><p><em> It’s just Dana, </em>she thought. </p><p> </p><p>She made her way over to the door and hesitated before opening it. “Dana.” She hummed, feeling pure contentment at the sight of her. </p><p> </p><p>“Stella.” Dana copied, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on the corner of the blonde’s mouth. “Something smells lovely.” She stated as she stepped into the flat. </p><p> </p><p>“No promises that it’s edible… But I certainly tried.” Stella laughed, taking Dana’s hand to lead her into the kitchen. </p><p> </p><p>Everything had always been so comfortable and effortless between the two of them, which made the uneasiness in the air tonight harder to swallow. </p><p> </p><p>Dana was worried something was wrong, and she was just sure it was her fault. She ran over every possibility in her head, but came up empty. </p><p>Stella was lost in her own little world it seemed, and it was worrying Dana to no end. </p><p> </p><p>“Red or white?” Stella asked, dragging her out of her suffocating thoughts. “Oh uh, red.” She replied, barely above a whisper. </p><p> </p><p>The room fell silent again as the blonde poured each of them a glass. It stayed quiet like that for a while until the sharp tone of the timer going off cut through it. </p><p> </p><p>“Dinner’s ready!” Stella announced, smiling at her girlfriend warmly. </p><p> </p><p>Dana found herself struggling to meet her with the same warm energy while nerves and uncertainty continued to eat at her. </p><p> </p><p>Stella filled two plates, and brought them over to the counter, setting one in front of Dana. </p><p> </p><p>“All right, I can’t promise this will be the most incredible thing you’ve ever eaten,” She started, taking her seat, “But I tried, and it looks good. I hope you enjoy it all the same.” </p><p> </p><p>They started eating and Stella kept trying to get herself psyched up to do it. Everytime she glanced over to the redhead sitting beside her she felt like she couldn’t breathe, and it was just getting harder and harder to get herself to say anything. </p><p> </p><p>They sat through half the dinner completely silent until Dana finally couldn’t take it anymore and spoke. “So, you said you had something you needed to tell me?” Her mouth felt dry, but in that moment she didn’t feel like she could drink or eat anything as she waited for Stella to speak.  </p><p> </p><p>“Right…” Stella stated, feeling her heartbeat quicken. She knew it would come up sooner or later, but she hadn’t been prepared for it to be brought up right away. Stella set her fork down, and took Dana’s hand into hers. </p><p> </p><p>Hesitantly the redhead met her gaze and they stared at each other for a few seconds. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ve been together for four months now. It’s been so lovely, some of the best months of my life even. There’s just something I still have to do, something I have to say.” </p><p> </p><p>Dana shut her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again she fixed them on the table in front of her, unable to maintain their eye contact. </p><p> </p><p><em> Oh god. I knew it, </em> Scully thought, <em> She’s breaking up with me.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Stella noticed that Dana’s eyes were now glued to the table, but she couldn’t stop talking. Afraid she’d never gain the courage again. </p><p> </p><p>“Dana, meeting you has been the best thing to ever happen to me, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone before.” She wished Dana would look at her, but a part of her felt relief not having to make eye contact. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” Dana whispered so softly Stella almost couldn’t hear it. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait what?!” Stella asked, squeezing the redhead’s hand tighter </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, Stella. Just do it.” </p><p> </p><p>Stella felt her heart drop slightly, knowing that it was completely her fault Dana would think for even a second she’d want to break up with her. It couldn’t be further from the truth. </p><p> </p><p>“Dana, stop it. No, I-” She felt like her heart stopped beating completely for a moment as she prepared herself to say the next words. Her eyebrow was perked up tight, her lips were dry and she struggled to form any words at all. “I…” She finally started again “I love you.” </p><p> </p><p>The words fell out of her mouth gracefully, though her insides felt as if they were on fire. Dana’s eyes grew wide and suddenly shot up to meet her own. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait…” Dana mumbled breathlessly. “What?” Was all she could manage to say, though a small smile was spreading across her face. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Dana.” Stella repeated, feeling lighter as she said it the second time.</p><p> </p><p>They both watched each other for a moment. Dana was speechless, but tears were already starting to fall from her eyes as she smiled at her girlfriend. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>Stella couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “Yes, dummy. Really. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. This is so out of bounds of what I'm used to. Farther than I could possibly say, but I mean it. It’s the truth and you deserve to hear it.” </p><p> </p><p>She lifted Dana’s hand up to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. </p><p> </p><p>“These last four months with you have truly been the best months of my life. I-” She hesitated to say the next part, but she knew it was true so she continued, “Dana I love you so much it makes it hard to breathe.” </p><p> </p><p>Dana suddenly felt lightheaded at the reality of what was happening. She never in a million years would have guessed that this was what Stella had wanted to tell her. She didn’t think this day was ever going to come, and now that it did she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. Stella loves her. </p><p> </p><p>“Stella, please.” She whispered, reaching her free hand out to grab the blonde’s, “You make me happier than I could ever say. I love you so much, and the fact that you feel the same way it’s… Well it’s…” She was suddenly overcome with emotion, “It’s the most relieving, fulfilling feeling I’ve ever experienced.” </p><p> </p><p>Stella reached up and gently wiped the tears from the redhead’s cheek. “How could I not feel the same way? You are everything, Dana Scully, everything.”</p><p> </p><p>Both women sat in silence for a while staring into each other’s tear filled eyes. Eventually Stella pointed out that their food was going to get cold, so they finished eating, though Dana never let go of Stella’s hand. </p><p> </p><p>When they finished they cleared off the table, and Dana helped Stella do the dishes. The blonde tried to protest, but she insisted. </p><p> </p><p>Once the kitchen was clean they made their way into the living room. Stella had started a fire before Dana arrived, and it was still glowing and the room was warm. </p><p> </p><p>“I really do think,” Stella said softly, once they were settled on the couch, “That I could spend every day for the rest of my life with nobody other than you, and I would be perfectly happy.” </p><p> </p><p>Her hand was gently running through her red hair, and Dana felt another tear slide down her cheek as she felt her emotions overwhelm her yet again. </p><p> </p><p>“Stella I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you, but I love you so much.” She leaned in and kissed her softly, “You have no idea what tonight has meant to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“You have no idea how long and hard I've thought about this. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long.” </p><p> </p><p>“No, please don’t apologize, it’s perfect. This is perfect. You are perfect.” </p><p> </p><p>Stella smiled, and leaned down to plant a kiss on her forehead. “You do deserve me, by the way. You deserve all the good in the world. You didn’t have to do anything to deserve me.” </p><p> </p><p>The room fell silent for a while, as Dana had no response to give. Stella continued to gently play with her red hair, and they both felt happy and safe in each other’s company. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“When do you want me to go home?” Dana eventually asked, causing Stella to laugh. </p><p> </p><p>“What if I want you to stay forever?” She replied, pulling her in for a kiss. “It’s our anniversary after all, it’s much too early for the night to end.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know it’s early, but I don’t want it to be too late when I’m walking home.” Dana said quietly, drawing circles on Stella’s knee as she laid in her lap. </p><p> </p><p>“You walked?” Stella asked, a bit surprised, “No, I’ve made my decision then. You are staying here tonight. There’s no way I’m letting you walk back home.” </p><p> </p><p>The redhead considered protesting for a moment, but knew she wouldn’t win the argument so she just sighed. “Fine.” She smiled, betraying the serious tone she was trying to portray. </p><p> </p><p>They turned the tv on, and Stella continued to play with the red hair that was pooled in her lap. Both women were blissfully content, and Stella thought that she never wanted this moment to end. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>She leaned down and softly whispered into her girlfriends ear, </p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Dana.” </p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, Stella.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>eeeek i tried really hard to make this good bc they’re so important to me and i wanted it to be perfect. i’m not super in love with how it turned out, but i hope you still like it!! </p><p>let me know if you have any thoughts.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>